How George Lucas would have ruined the Force Awakens

In my review of the teaser trailer for the Force Awakens, I opined that while Lucas ‘might have a genius for universe building’ he, in sharp contrast to JJ Abrams, doesn’t understand the human element necessary for good storytelling. This deliciously mean parody of the teaser trailer illustrates this by imagining what Lucas would have done with the new film:

Unnecessary CGI, unwanted Hayden Christensen and unbearable droning about ‘trade negotiations’!

Stop sharing those stupid empty Commons photos. They are FAKE!

A reminder that just because someone has posted something on social media that doesn’t mean it’s true.

To be clear these were not mistakes. The people who made them knew they were fibbing. They had to take a screenshot of PMQs or MPs debating tuition fees in 2004 and write a caption below it saying it was a discussion about MPs pay or expenses. So if you share this kind of stuff without checking it you are helping to perpetuate a deliberate deception.

Honest Movie Posters

Posters for awful films should be required to include quotes of Mark Kermode slagging them off

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For me as a Christian, the Gospel of Mark is a book in the New Testament written by Saint Mark. As a film fan, however, they are Mark Kermode‘s reviews. I don’t think he’s not always right, I’m no fundamentalist and he think Twilight is good, but more often than not his reviews are the most interesting ones out there.

He’s also famous for gloriously splenetic rants about certain films. Buzzfeed have come up with the wonderful idea of using quotes from these to replace the usual misleadingly edited words from the Milwaukee Herald you find on movie posters.

So, for example, here’s their new poster for the worst film I’ve ever seen:

The Da Vinci Code , 2006.

And the most caustic quote of all:

Keith Lemon: The Film , 2012.